VIPASSANA- IN SEARCH OF THE PATH OF LIBERATION

Stood under a tree opposite to Ramanaashrama waiting for a bus to reach my new destination which can change the destiny. The scorching sun , spells of heat wave, drenching in sweat, low on energy due to skipped lunch and of all, unknown Dravidian language- The Tamil, made me think that, was this new (ad)venture in life really necessary, when i could stay all the way back in cool comfortable friendly – Namma Bengaluru. But my inner voice pounced upon this giving away thought and made its stand clear- Yes my friend, its the necessity of your life.

Few months back while i was discussing philosophy with my friend, she shed some light about Vipassana, which was unknown to me till then, and she suggested me to try it. Being jobless after completing my masters and expecting a posting order from the Indian Armed Forces, always felt there is voidness in life, the thoughts of which grew stronger during this hiatus and decided to explore the world of Vipassana- the technique which Goutham Buddha discovered during his journey of self exploration.

ಸಿಲುಕಿಕೊಂಡೆ... ಸಿಲುಕಿಕೊಂಡೆ...ಈ ಸಂಸಾರದ ಸಂಕೋಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ!
ಪ್ರೀತಿ- ಮಮತೆ, ದ್ವೇಷ- ರೋಷದ ಬಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ!
ಇವುಗಳ ಅಮಲಿನಲ್ಲಿ ನಾ ಮರೆತೆ, ಜೀವನದ ಧ್ಯೇಯವ!
ಅರಿತು ಹೀಗ ಹೊರಟಿರುವೆನು, ಮಾಡಲು ಅಧ್ಯಯನವ!

ಉಷೆಯನ್ನು ಮೇಘವು, ಮುಚ್ಚಿಟ್ಟಂತೆ!
ಅಲೆಗಳನ್ನು ತೀರದಿಂದ, ಸಮುದ್ರವೇ ಕಸಿದಂತೆ!
ತನ್ನ ದನಿಯನ್ನು, ಕೋಗಿಲೆಯೇ ಕಂಠದಲ್ಲಿ ಅಡವಿಟ್ಟಂತೆ!
ನಡೆಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದರೂ ಜೀವನ ತನ್ನಂತೆ,
ಏನೋ ಕೊರತೆ ಇದೆಯೆಂದು, ನಾ ಅರಿತೆ!

ದೈನಂದಿನ ಜೀವನದೊಡನೆ, ಈ ಸರಪಳಿ!
ಸಾಕಾಯಿತು ಈ ಜನಜಂಗುಳಿ!
ಎಷ್ಟಿದ್ದರೂ ಬೇಕೆನ್ನುವ, ಈ ಮನದ  ಚಾಳಿ!
ಎಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಕರೆದೊಯ್ಯುವುದೋ, ಈ ಹುಚ್ಚು ಹಾವಳಿ!!!

ಜೀವನದ ನಿಜ ಮರ್ಮವ, ತಿಳಿಯ ಹೊರಟೆ!
ನಿರ್ವಾಣದ ದಿಗಂತವ, ಹುಡುಕ ಹೊರಟೆ!
ಕಂಡೆ ವಿಪಾಸನ ಧರ್ಮ ಮಾರ್ಗದಲ್ಲಿ ಆ ಶಕ್ತಿ!
ಅನುಸರಿಸಿ ನೆಡೆದರೆ ಸಿಗುವುದು...ಜೀವನ್ಮುಕ್ತಿ...!

 I booked to learn this at Dhamma Arunachala, an ashram, sort of, 10kms from Tiruvannamalai. Boarded the puducherry train from bengaluru and reached annamalai. It was still pre-dawn and rested on a bench over the railway platform till morning to grab some sleep. The chirping birds, tapping footsteps of morning walkers, TEA-TEA-KAAPI-KAAPI, these auditory stimuli kicked off my reticular system to wake me up. Freshened up in station and headed towards the majestic Arunachaleswara temple- Agni Lingam, to invoke the divine blessings in this Quest for searching the true meaning of life. Savoured the desi tamilian breakfast and then headed for Sri Ramanaashrama. Explored the ashrama and climbed the annamalai hills and meditated for a while in a cave where ramana maharshi lived. Reels of thoughts with no wheels, unlimited, unregulated, unbounded, untamed presented themselves while meditating and this turmoil of thoughts made me all the more determined to learn a technique which helps me to tame the conscious-subconscious mind.

The bus to perumbakam arrived at last and after a half an hour journey through countryside and i alighted at the Dhamma Arunachala. Got myself registered in the office and went to the room allotted to me to be shared with two others. Met my neo pals for ten days and the usual introductory exchange was made. In the evening was asked to assemble for a pre course talk and v all had assembled in the hall. Panning across the other participants of the course about 45 of them, aged 20yrs-75yrs, i wondered what made them to come to attend this course. Though it was unclear about their backgrounds, but one thing which was clear and common among all of us was the curiosity to know what vipasanna is and will be, once v start inculcating it in our daily chores.
Dun – Dun- Dun the bell rung and the organisers entered to address the assembly about all the rules and regulations. One salient feature among all the rules was- The Noble Silence, wherein we were strictly told to forget the fact that humans do have the capacity to speak- communication of all sorts restricted, no making sounds, no reading/writing, mobiles were confiscated by the management for ten days, and last one being to forget anyone exists around and its only me and my vipasanna sadhana. Of all the rules it was this last one which dint bother me much, as this is how we in modern world do live, hardly caring for others-self centered- selfish-immersed in our own worldly cravings and aversion-vicissitudes of life.

Day-1

Dun-Dun-Dun the morning bell at 4am rung and meditation started with the Aana-Paana technique wherein we are asked to concentrate on the breath entering the nostril and the sensations happening in the narrow region between upper lip and the nose. Overzealous, started it with focussed mind, hoping to sail smoothly across this ocean of thoughts. But, within seconds, flashes of varied worldly thoughts appeared due to wildness of this untamed mind and i resurrected the focussed mind again and again, and over few minutes the focus of this focussed mind went out of focus and i drowned in the ocean of thoughts with wild waves, rising tides showing no mercy on me. The spectrum of thoughts was across time periods, just like a dream with no link-logic among them, but keep flowing continuously. Augmenting to this misery is the inability to sit on the floor crosslegged for longer duration as v in outer world hardly sit on floor. While fighting to tame the wildness of mind the physical incapacitating positional pain crops up, and while resolving this pain issue the mind would have wandered away to a lost world. Uff Uff – i puffed out the breath in me hardly, unable to balance both- the mind and the body together- but in the background the teacher was instructing that both mind and body are like the wheels of a cart, which when work in sync help u to reach ur destiny. Disgruntled, i walked out of the dhamma(meditation) hall. Looking at the sky, vented out my frustration silently and thinking hard that when i am unable to manage my own internal affairs, how well can i manage as a doctor the illness of others. Reinforcing myself with positive themes, i entered the dhamma hall and sat straight to meditate and closed my eyes, to be followed very next moment by Dun-Dun-Dun, the bell ring signalling the end of the session. Well at times by the time u make up ur mind, time would have passed by. At Dhamma Arunachala, breakfast is served at 6.30 am and lunch at 11.30am and tea at 5.00pm and no dinner. Food is bland, no onion-garlic-ginger, organic, and majority of serving is that of millets n vegetables. After some food n rest, in the subsequent sessions of meditation almost 6hrs tried hard n harder to balance mind n body posture with some twilight of success. The day concluded with discourse by teacher Goenka ji and by 9pm hit the sack............dreamz........................
 
Day-2

Dun-Dun-Dun the bell rung at 4am for the morning bout of meditation. The struggle to free the mind from eternal inflow of thoughts and maintaining the erect body posture continued. The day-1 enthusiasm by now had dwindled and the countdown to day-10 started in my mind. To my apparent misfortune the meditation session went on for 10hrs on the second day and now sense of rejection towards meditation started cropping up. Many sessions i sat with eyes wide open, frequently changing positions, and looking at others out of whom the front row players were seriously meditating and my peer backbenchers were more like me giving the much needed company, soothening to see at-least some of us sailing on the same boat. I used to avoid eye contact with anyone, coz that invariably is followed by a smile and later the urge to speak n share experiences. During free time it was hard to kill time, for it was the life devoid of tv, mobile, books, pen, atleast speaking, singing to which this modern civilisation is hooked up. So i used to go n sleep on a stone boulder under a neem tree listening to the rumbling of leaves, chirping of birds, smelling its essence, enjoying the interplay of sunlight with its branches and always thinking that not everything is bitter under a neem tree except for its leaves. This simple but strong interpretation shook me up, drawing a parallel in our lives wherein prejudice of people around, always prevent us from enjoying their other dimensions of life.....Spent the other sessions of the day with eyes open looking around, while the rest of the crew seem to be meditating, i meditated upon them interspersed with few bouts of sleep...In the evening discourse, guruji told that day 2 is very difficult for a fresher to sit for long duration and appreciated us for completing it. Slept at 9pm with wide range of vivid dreamzz, not in recent times had i such abundance of dreamz.....

Day-3

Dun-Dun-Dun the bell rung and meditation started. The entire day i struggled, wriggled and felt suffocated just like tying up someone in a gunny bag. The thought of bidding good-bye to the course grew stronger hour by hour. I tried extinguishing it by reinforcing myself to give it a fair trial for another couple of days before as advised by guruji. The bus driver keeps honking each time he passes by, as if calling me to go back to continue enjoying the worldly pleasures by stopping this displeasure self explorating experiment. I dared to share my incapability to continue further with my teacher who reassured saying that because of the purity of the technique the previous karmas are getting expelled, and these during the course of expulsion cause all these troubles. If faced bravely, i am bound to be successful. This sportive positive thinking resuscitated the dying enthusiasm in me and rekindled my efforts to learn the Vipasanna technique. That day i meditated for 4.5hrs on the Aana-Paana and tried to sharpen my concentration. In the evening discourse, guruji shed more light on Sheela-Samaddi-Panya, the wheel of dhamma, and the importance of vipassana in achieving liberation.  That day the crescent moon had lit the pitch dark sky, just like me having achieved some establishment in the Vipassana to quell the darkness of ignorance.....

Day-4

Dun-Dun-Dun the bell rung, got up first while my roommates who usually compete with me to occupy the bathroom were still asleep, got ready and still astonished to see them deep asleep and with no trace of anyone awake in the adjacent dormitories. I checked my watch and it was still few hours before 4am, disgusted at this auditory hallucination i slept again to be woken up by the volunteers for being late for the morning meditation. Just like Pavlovian conditioning, on hearing Dun-Dun-Dun v all used to tune our mind to meditate. After three days of Aana-Paana, Vipassana was taught on this day wherein one is asked to observe sensation as they are with no craving or aversion, scanning every part of this body from head to toe. The evening discouse began n guruji told more about Vipasanna- Gowthama Buddha’s contribution to the world. In Vipassana the sensation is observed as it manifests equanimously with no clinging or animosity to them and with the ideology of Anichhar-impermanance. By practicing this in our daily life v subconsciously would have started accepting life as it presents to us and be neutral in all situations, being constantly aware of the fact that everything good or bad in life is impermanent. This wont create any new sankaaras – mental comminutions and by continuing this practice v loose stock of all old sankaaras to attain nirvana, else the retained sankaaras are sufficient to drive the soul into an another body-life. The day ended with some hope that i too can stay there for another 6 days....countdown.....


Day-5

Dun-Dun-Dun the bell rung and i looked at the watch to ensure its not hallucination and it was 4am and got readied to start meditating again and again. Slowly started achieving some grip over the practice. But day 5 saw maximum dropouts wherein about 8 pupils left the course midway citing their own discomforts. This shook my confidence a little, but rather than looking at a jar half empty its the attitude of looking at it as jar half filled which is important, thinking so I continued my meditation. All this time i hardly looked at the other side of the aisle where the opposite gender used to meditate, but today bored out of joblessness and due to natural drive, scanned all of them and yes, among all of them there was this one girl worth meditating upon....

ಏಕೋ ಮನಸ್ಸು ನಿಂತಲ್ಲಿ ನಿಲ್ಲುತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ
ಹೊಸದಾಗಿ ಶುರುವಾಯ್ತು ಏನೋ ತಳಮಳ
ಹೆಚ್ಚಾಯ್ತು ಮನದಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ಹಂಬಲ
ನಿನ್ನ ನೋಡುವ ಭಾರಿ ಕುತೂಹಲ

ಬಂದೇಯೇನು?
ಒಲವ ತಂದೇಯೇನು?
ಈ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಚಂದ ನೀನು....

ಬರಿದಾದ ಮನಕೆ,ಬಾ ನೀ ಝರಿಯಂತೆ!
ಈ ಕತ್ತಲೆಯನೇ ನುಂಗಿದ,ಆ ಚಂದ್ರನ ಬೆಳದಿಂಗಳಂತೆ!
ಹೃದಯ ವೀಣೆಯ ಯಾರೋ ಮಿಡಿದಂತೆ,
ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಶೃತಿ ನೀನಾದಂತೆ!

ಬಂದೇಯೇನು?
ಒಲವ ತಂದೇಯೇನು?
ಈ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಚಂದ ನೀನು....

ಏಕಾಂತ ಸಾಗಿದೆ, ಜೊತೆಯಾಗು ಸಂಗಾತಿ!
ಗುಣವಂತ ನಾನೆಂದು, ಇನ್ನು  ಮುಟಿಲ್ಲವೇ ವದಂತಿ?!
ತಡಮಾಡದೆ, ನೀನಾಗು ಬಾ ನನ್ನ ಜೀವನ ಜ್ಯೋತಿ!
ಪಡೆದ ನಿನ್ನ ಈ ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೆ  ಸಿಕ್ಕೀತೆ ಕೊನೆಗೂ ವಿಶ್ರಾಂತಿ?!

ಬಂದೇಯೇನು?
ಒಲವ ತಂದೇಯೇನು?
ಈ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಚಂದ ನೀನು....

Day-6

Dun-Dun-Dun- our mind n body by then was fully conditioned to this sound as a call to meditate and being sincere n eager to experience the benefits of the technique  i used to meditate for atleast 7 hrs a day and over another 3 hrs of sitting in the meditation hall, i used to meditate on-off about her and about many non specific things of life. The frequent honking of the bus outside the campus, now didn’t ignite the urge in me to ditch the course midway. During the free time i used to observe the intricacies of nature in my serene green campus. The brightness of the moon was waxing over days and just like the first-quartered moon which had lit the sky, i too got to know life from buddha’s perspective as told in evening discourse which i felt was pushing away the darkness of ignorance in me.

Day-7,8,9

These days passed on so fast with all the Dun-Dhana-Dun as i started loving the technique and got myself immersed in mastering it over these days. I remember Einstein quotes on relativity-“when a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But sitting on a hot stove for a minute seems longer than any hour.” The evening discourses though was repetitive n monotonous, but was of some solace to the silenced minds. The moon had gained some more brightness over days and it was a gibbous moon...

Day-10

Dun-Dun-Dun. The D-day’s final wake up bell. After few sessions of meditation and practicing mitha bhaavana wherein we share love n compassion with others by emanating the energy from within, we were allowed to break the noble silence.. uff uff at last some work to the long rested vocal chords. The formal introductory exchanges and sharing of experience while practicing Vipassana went on for hours. I didn’t feel like speaking much and rather now the chattering-cluttering going on all around made me unknowingly embrace silence. I felt proud for having completed the course coz this course is challenging and is the barometer of once will power. The girl had left by the time i could contact her, but without a trace of craving i smiled and accepted that everything in life is impermanent-Anichar, Anichar, Anichar.....................

The bus arrived honking at us, eager as usual to take us out of this philosophically-spiritually charged unbounded environs, back into the greedy-self centered-performance driven-lifeless-bounded  world. Alighted at Sri Ramanaashrama and stood again in the same bus stop opposite to it waiting for a bus to Namma Bengaluru, again confronting the scorching sun, raining sweat, decreased energy levels, but stood there not with dejection, but with a sense of satisfaction that something simple but revolutionary technique was learnt which changed the very prism of perceiving things around with no cravings, aversions and to remain equanimous remembering the universal law of impermanence.              ...................It was a full moonday..................

TAMED WILDNESS

turbulence of life

ROCKING in the cradle of nature,basking in the lullabies of birds,timely feeding the delicious,mouth watering traditional MALNAD cuisine,starring @ the star stuffed sky 360",loafing amidst the skyscrapped arecanut trees swaying with the wind,freezing the bountiful beauty with the lens,tattering the strings of inhibitions which regulated my conduct in this civilised world-foreplayed! with my neo pals-the domesticated dogs n cats,regressed into a child revitalising my body-mind

wildeness of dog

I had been looking 4ward for a way to eject myself from this never tiring metro life.Chasing behind the mirage of pg seat  had messed my physical-emotional life.Scrolling thru the pages of huge volume in confined room,this solitudeness had  dislodged the emotional ideals of peace,humbleness,love,patience,selfless...in me and brewed the wilderness of street dog in me..my emotional equilibrium thrown out of gear.these negative vibes accumulated in me.now being off-season of my pg exams i finally had an oppurtunity to distangle myself from this tangled world..

My semi-roommate steel who hails from sirsi invited me to visit his place.i had been a starved dog who @ once leaped on to this invitation.Bus was scheduled @ 10.45pm.i stuffed my bag with all that i could grab in 2 min n headed to majestic.since it was a long weekend holiday half of bangalore immigrants were heading to their native leading to crowded majestic.i made my way to terminal2 n stood their waitin for steel who arrived @10.30pm.all 2ru the night in the bus i had interrupted soundless sleep-reticular system firing with each pothole the bus managed.it was 8.30 when v reached sirsi n had to alight another bus to travel further 35km into the forest to BILIKALMANE.there another 1.5km trailing in the forest led us to his home.v rested the whole day.

their house is nested in the valley  in which they have an arecanut plantation,tall arecanut trees swaying in wind adorned by beetle creepers.it also has cardamom plant,clove tree,banana plant,pineapple plant.on one end is the naga demigod and on the other end is the chowdi-goddess who protects the forest n its children from evils. a perennial stream flows beside their home which is the lifeline for domestic n agricultural chores.

@dawn i had to micturate,so had come out as the toilet is placed outside@ some distance from their home.like everywhere in rural india here too having a toilet in the living complex is a taboo.during the act of micturating i accidently rised my head to be startled to watch the sky studded with twinkling stars,extending all upto the horizon around..i might be overemphasising here, but for us the metrosexual beings gazing @ the stars r as uncommon as the jamless metro traffic.after few minutes of over extension my neck started aching,forcing me back into the bed.though irrespective of micturatiion every dawn i gazed @ the sky hardly would i chance upon a star,for the remaining days screen of clouds were obscuring the splendid view.

magu ellu magu-this was how aunt used to wake up our shaggy steel off his bed.every morning sharp @ 8 v had our plain dosas served with liquid jaggery+butter+chatnipudi+ghee.hot tea formed the epilogue of their breakfast.soon everyone xcept us became engrossed in their routine.this forced us realise v r jobless n had to do something to kill time, i took my dslr-accompanied by their dog set into the forest to freeze some beauty.during this process discovered the interplay between varied elements of nature.@noon buttermilk+jaggery/cocum-punarpuli juice was served to beat the heat.Bathing in the noon,with the hot water drawn from the local kiln supplemented with the steam-charred wood smoke adds to this ecstasy.this was followed by lunch wherin everyday 3 variety of sambar varients with palya was a must.the tambli-the sambar-the huli{appehuli/mavinhuli]all delighted our tastebuds.scientifically this foodstyle increases digestive capacity n is somniac.u r forced into sleep automatically unlike here wheirn i used to force myself to sleep during afternoon.@5 v all used to sit together to savour tea with banana-jackfruit chips-cashew-sweethunde

i also had an oppurtunity to eat the honey with the bee wax-yummy@its best.in the evening v used to trek the neighbouring hillwith their 2 dogs-chotasu+pintasu.steel introduced me to various fruit bearing forest trees from which v plucked fruits eating all the way to hilltop.{mullhannu-dasvaladhannu-cocum-bettadnellikai-}TRATAKA was done on the setting sun by our steel during which i used to take snaps around.the dogs used to feed on the leftovers which v had spit out.by 7 v used to reach home to be fed with milk-kashaya.then watching the tv for another 2 hrs,by 9 dinner was served.unlike us they invariably sit on mats-mane on the floor to eat and have certain code of conduct while eating and serving food which gradually i learnt.by the time v slept it was 12.

far sight

the most memorable moment of the visit was night trek in the forest to their neighbours home on the other side of the hill.me n steel followed the human trails into the forest with an aged flickering battery as our only source of light nevertheless to thank the background fullmoon for its light.reciting the hymns of hanuman,rama v successfully returned with a basket full of ladoos to fetch which v had gone all the way across the forest to their neighbours.

serenity-equilibrium-clarity of life

This new lifesstyle for a week seduced me breakin the jinx of boring metrolife.i cuddled with their cats,dogs like a child.lost deep in nature i connected myself with it thru photography.met many of them there who won my heart with their humbleness,simplicity,love for others n nature.Rediscovered peace within myself.the wildness in me was tamed,toned down by the wild nature n its children...

LUCID LUCIA

On the philosophical tone,the master puppeteer controls every movement n moments in our life.Like-Dislike the current status of ur life,unlike the posts on our facebook wall which can be manipulated,this can't be changed as its engraved on the wall of the face-The Forehead.
On the spiritual tone,as per KARMIC principle,the puppetter tighten or loosen the strings with which he controls us,the puppets based on our karmas(deeds) in the past-present life.
It's good to have things happening in life as per our wish.The puppets too enjoy the show and are always greatful to the puppeteer.On the contrary,when wishes n happenings in life r in continous conflict,the puppet's only window to vitalize his wish is by dreaming.

GRAND SUNNY WITH HIS GRANNY

Granny n The Crutch

      

 

MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH   

munching the freshly fried puri in synchrony with this spl person across the table ,whose buccinators cave under the cheek bone unsupported by her toothless jaws,i wonder wat sets me apart from her apart from the 5decade early inception of her onto this earth..as i unwrap my daily itinery with her ,i visualize that there r many tat converge between us barring the age factor......

@she sets my temper boiling persuading me all morning to feed her subcutaneous with 20units of insulin,after which only she has peace.

$ I too make it a point to xercise vigoursously for 20min to beat the xtra flab in the morning,thus earning peace to my body n mind.

@she having underwent a failed surgery to fix her #legs,debilitated,only to be rehabilitate with her 4legged crutch n its 4rubber corks, which she hits hard on to the floor during the morning stroll in the home.this emits an irritating rhythmik high pitch thud which appraise the displeasure in u.

$ i being intimate to cold wear rubber sandals to insulate from the chilled granite floor of our house,nevertheless subconsciously produce the same thud as i walk supplementig tat produced by this person,only to be complimented by our irritated tenant on the lower floor,by tapping his roof{our floor}with a stick often producing the same thud ,but of diff character....

@she scrubs herself thrice a week,generously emptying all tat is liquid in the geyser,taking all the time in the world.as she just come out of the bathroom ,the steam collected inside gush out around her untied grey sreaked hair,diffracting the early morning light-an aura all over,jewels her with the divine outlook.
$ i having inherited her genes too do the same,but wonder y am devoid of the divine demeanor only to later realize tat my melanised skin absorbs all light denying me the divinity.

@she solidly hits her sack for 2 hrs in forenoon downstairs
$ i too copy this act of hers upstairs only to be woken up by her thudding 4legged crutch...

@she hunts in the kitchen late nyt for sweeteners which is forbidden to this diabetic in daytime.
$ i also prey on ,in late afternoon,when my sis is away,for am forbidden by her to overeat

@she has cataractous lens n hence hardly watch the idiot box
$ i self restict in promoting this idiot, for its hightime for exams.
but both have to kill time.she gives me an account of her bygone era n me update her the happenings of the current.both act as a symbiotic window to see each other worlds.

@cataract impedes her vision n also the clarity witch she regained recently after iol syrgery
$## i ,am sorry,@this productive age totally lost the clarity of tasks to be undertaken,achieved ,being myopic of my future.
SURGERY-hmmm, well of course yes, after much loafing around,realised the value of time.now doing all to rezig my vision/clarity of life...akin to this spl person=my sweet granny
with whom i sit again the nxt morning awaiting my mom's call to the dining to munch in synchrony,nevertheless, this time with a better clarity of wat sets me apart her............

                                    she has come a full circle in her life n now got all time in the world to rest.                                                                                                    me, am about to start my venture into this circle of life and have a long perimeter to traverse unrest.................

kp

the ruck sack gave away wen i tried to feed it with some more goodies

lost 500rs from my monthly stipend

lied to my ortho stranger pg of my sister marriage.

my slippers wore out, leavin me with no options but to pleat grass,usin which the slippers wer anchored to the sole.

worst of all, ortho 36hrs duty ,post trekking day,wen i had to lump in front of patients n back ache for a week witch bears testimony to the mighty kp.holy shit-it aches even now as i unfold to u my xperience

thur dec8-herkal told me abt his plan to scale kp,my dream trekkin destination till date,to witch i told ayes..

fri-minimal clothin n max food, stuffed into my bag ,i headed 2wards railway station platform 9 wer i met herkal n badrya wo introduced me to 2 more frns of him mr.sugya aka bendre n kiran gaitonde aka shiney ahuja..v boarded the yesvantpur-kannur xpress @9.in our compartment wAS a female in her early 20"s -slim,fair complexion,strands of hair soaked her cheek witch she used to pull behind her ear time n again revealin the jumki hangin from her earlobe,engulfed in a black night wear ,scrollin thru pages of 'shantaram' with crossed waxed legs,toe nail polished pink,sippin appy juice producin a tubular sound pppsssssss.....................trnnn trnnn my cell rang,elation subdued, brought me back into senses.frns were havin dosa witch they had parceled.v had discussion of stuffs down the memory lane.it was 11.oopm wen v decided to rest our body n soul.i occupied the upper berth,she below me.ppss ppsss sound woke me up @1.00am.seems she was still inside 'shantaram' suckin appy juice n so my peace for the nyt....

sat-5.00am cold feet awakened me from the dream abt the girl on whose top i was[literal sense].after heedin to the nature call,peeked out of the train in the dawn to view the nature .the western ghats. On the way to kukke from sakleshpur,it unfolds itself n to view it in twilight is a rare opportunity.@5.40a.m v got down @ kukke station biddin aideu to the girl wo was still deep asleep coverin from top to bottom xcept for the right jumki danglin n dazzlin in the light.
v hired a taxi 30rs per head to reach kukke by 6.had brushless breakfast @neo mysore cafe where v met other groups destined for kp peak.seeked blessings of subramanya swami for safe return .a km long walk took us to the base of the hill were v changed into our comfort wears-me vests n shorts.
6.30a.m-v started ascendin myself,badrya n kiran trailed behind karya n sugya wo were a furlong away.the vegetation grew thicker n thicker n so also the path steeper.chirpin birds,sun rays fightin its way in to reach the forest amidst tall canopied trees,leech anchorin onto our feet:fresh elephant dung -trashed bins-strewn bamboo trunks al signs of existence of an enraged elephant in the vicinity:hisss...ssss.sss.ss the hissin of the laboured breath accompanied us.badrya in the rear used to call us often to rest n till he reached us v had our cameras workin out poses in varied angle.our pace decreased as v progressed up.v were dumbstruck wen v saw a man carryin load on to his back escalatin at a pace thrice tat of us.mr.bettada jeevi

bheemana bande-1st milestone of our trek was conquered.also the 1st sign of my mended slippers,may give away,was signalled wen my ankle twisted puttin a lateral shear stress on to the worn out slippers.the leveraged leeches had grown in size manyfolds witch had to b disembarked usin lime.blood oozed out for 5 more minutes by virtue of anticoagulants witch the leeches would have released.the forest cover dwindled n v entered vistas of vast grasslands with bright sun above. v chanced upon a female at a distance climbin.as v approached her i was stunned to know tat she was 60years old aunty-ajji transition lady trekkin with minimal signs of tiredness.she boosted our sweatin-drenched spirits.

bhattara mane-around 5kms from the base.bhatta established himself there 20yrs back.has a house n aracanut plantation in witch he also produce vegetables.his abode amidst nature is akin to swarga for hungry-sun baked-vigourless trekkers.bhattru provided us full meals -60rs per meal.anna-sambar-majjige-uppu-uppinakayi.anna made from the rice brought by mr.bettada jeevi.v chatted for a while wit co-trekkers ,restin our soles n souls.12.30fillin our bottles with water-elixir n with rejigged zeal n vigour v started again..

pushpagiri wildlife sanctuary-200rs per head.one has to register here before proceedin further.knee lenght grasslands n the narrow path studded with rocks r the only things to accompany us till mantapa.sun overhead n the path elevatin towards sky make this portion of trek grillin testin the balls in u.luckily v had one of the mightiest.
panoromic serene view of the sanctuary b cherished .as v move up, the trail behind us swirled in a serpentine fashion wrappin around the hill.streams of water helps one to quench the thirst.captured nature in my canon.


mantapa-built by tippu at such an altitude to meet wat purpose ,this question pampers everyone wo rest in it escapin the intense sun.rested their for a while until badrya reached it,n then the journey continued.v sighted the peak uphill n was happy to have reached it so early.as v approached it ,behind it a mighty mountain showcased.happiness shortlived wen v were told kp was still half way to go.the peak on witch v stood was sheshagiri for hit had hood like tat of a snake.glucon-d maintained the sugar level in our blood n orange-kitlehannu maintained the fluid-salt homeostasis.an hour more of trek from sheshagiri took us to marigundi view point.the beauty here is marigundi is naked rocky mountain amidst green laden mountain ranges.kukke-battaramane everything appeared small -infused in me the thought of how mighty humans were.?!.from here to reach kp one has to go through forest with sparse vegetation n trek against a stream n a falls.as it was winter, stream was devoid of water witch made our way up easy.6.00pm v scaled kp peak n burst out into loud cries.....kehoooooa......
v pitched our tents n sleep bags n njoyed sunset at one end of the horizon n the moon rise from the other end.v filled our tummies with food v had brought al the way up about 13kms just like mr.bettada jiva.filled bowel irritates bladder witch had to b emptied.

6.40-one of the longest lunar eclipse began.as the earth's shadow casted on the moon, began engulfin it from one pole,the moonlight dimmed until an hour later it was completely kocked off .v njoyed every moment of it.soon clouds spoilt the show maskin natures foreplay.irony is v wanted clouds to screen us from sun while trekkin but now viceversa..temperature dipped-shivering us down the spine.me,sugya n kiran lit the camp fire,dechillin ourselves.to beat the chill,thoughts of alcohol intake with some puff creeped into my mind,but suddenly i heard my amma voice yeh ..kariyannaaa...made me forget even havin thought so...
fitted myself into the sleepin bag i slipped into sleep..


.......////////???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@@ME N THE TRAIN GIRL ON THE PEAK SLEEPIN N GAZIN @THE SKY.COMET,ASTEROIDS PLAYIN WITH THE STARS.LUNAR ECLIPSE BEIN REFLECTED FROM HER JUMUKI.HER HEAD OVER MY CHEST LISTENIN TO THE VIBES OF POUNDIN HEART.COOL BREEZE LET HER HAIR BRUSH MY CHEEKS. THE LUNAR ECLIPSED FULL.SUDDENLY BREEZE TRANSFORMED INTO A TORNADO RISIN TO THE SKIES SYPHOONIN HER "SHANTARAM" N MINUTES LATER THE UNDERWORLD GOONS OF MUMBAI -CHARACTERS IN THE BOOK ,R FULL OF LIFE ARISIN FROM THE TORNADO TOWARDS US, TOOK OFF THE TRAIN GIRL LYIN BY MY SIDE INTO THE TORNADO ppssss......ppsssss.SOON THE TORNADO DISAPPEARED LEAVIN BEHIND THE GIRL JUMUKI DANGLIN FROM MY SWEATER.AS I LOOKED INTO JUMUKI, THE FULL ECLIPSED MOON NOW SLOWLY BEGAN LIGHTIN THE EARTH.THE MOON GOT BRIGHTER N BRIGHTER@@@@@@@######$%%^&&&&***((((())))))))_==+/'][;.,<>?:"{}`~??????????!!!!!!!!!!
bright light of my friend's torch wo flashed it on my face woke me up.dried bits of grass dangled from my sweater.cool breeze.moon was in full brightness.it was sun 5.45a.m.others too woke up n v went to the other side of peak to view the sunrise.
fleets n fleets of cloud fillin every inch of the horizon extendin to infinity startled us.everyone was perplexed.clicked innumerable potos.6.50a.m wen v saw 1st rays of sun amidst clouds.the yellow tinged orange rays painted the white clouds as to their wish.the risin sun n the sunrays stained movin clouds with their inclination changin every moment was a treat-visual feast-ecstacy to watch.v njoyed every second of it n were satisfied to have labored ourselves uphill 13kms to spectacle nature"s virginity.

v started downhill @8.00am-my slipper witch had signs n symptoms of givin away-wore out,leavin me with no option rather to tie it with a rope witch badrya had flicked from bhattrumane.i started bearin weight on the other slipper witch out of loyalty to its co-slipper also wore out.the only resource in abundance on kp was grass--i selected thick green grass witch i had to pleat to bear the tensile strenght n tied it around the slipper,as the buckle,to keep it in contact with my sole.also made extra pleated grass buckles to use it sometime later wen the existin ones give away.bid adieu to kp n his allied hill ranges v entered the forest cover.as v climbed down the knees sometimes used to hyperextend.with sprain ankles,achin joints v reached the base @2.30 p.m.badrya was the last to climb down @3.30.long live his will.
lookin up the hill realised from wat i had thought earlier[how mighty humans were]that man is too small in front of nature.
had bath in kumaradhara river which adsorbed most of the 26km long trek's stress n strains.had darshan of kukke subramanya twice n thanked him for safe n happy return.lodged into bus @9.with seats pushed back n eyes closed fell into deep sleep !!!!!!!!!@@@@@@@######$$$this time it was much more intimacy with the train girl than the previous dream%%^^&&**(())__++-=[]\;',.??><:"{}|?????!!!!
only to b waken up by frns in namma bengaluru.

anna bond

TIHAR JAIL-hot spot upon which india's gaze is hooked upon,behind its bars lie a phenomenal personality,clad in a white doti,calm n composed yet with the nerve of steel,unperterbed by the happenings,a septageranian deceiving his age-nidus for instigating an epidemic revolt against corruption

unveiling the brand ambassador-crusader of modern india's most populous movement ........................bond---ANNA BOND-!!

gandhian,wo has led a life of revolt-against pak in 1975 war-established indias richest village malegon,model village of the century,instrumental in enactin the RTI bill,n now spearheadin peace mutiny against corruption.
annas call for peaceful protests has engulfed the nation-people flockin on to the streets in huge nos,a strong gesture of solidarity n this of course has made upa nervous,a sense of weakness down its limbs manifested in its maveric undemocratic acts like, denying team anna permission to protest until death ,n then arrestin annaji followin witch its quite in a predicament-a catch 22 situation.congress was in favour of gandhian ideals durin freedom struggle n now tis tip off act is unpardonable.madame sonia got cured herself of cancer witout a 2nd thought but shez hesitatin to deroot tis cancer-corruption witch has metastasised 2ru out the nation.there isz a film of fear behind its intrepid facade witch is hard to evapourate for some time to come.its pamperin spokesperson suvar ki bacche digvijay singh has to shut his mouth,else people mit piss him off.its now r never for congress.mr.singh shuld shun his puppetry image n be a pide piper of upa -regain his 1993 vigor by passing a strong jan lokpal bill.upa's authoritarian rule is a catastrophe of democracy n the damage is abyss.
people wanted to vent out their anger against corruption n annaji has ignited it,though in a peaceful way.i can bribe but wat abt those wo can't.they wil b devoid of services.
ANNAisation of india has spread akin to a wildfire n tis turmoil in the citizens can only be waned if a strong anti corruption act is enacted.......

i am anna
aana is gandhi
implies=i am gandhi

punters in pavagada

--INSIGHT--

Twins msged me that they wer kmin to my place.i boasted myself to me for having convinced them to km to this place 160kms from namma bengaluru.welkmed twins n led them to our room.sensed something wrong for they wore a dejected look on their face.hmmm.they had lost mobile en route to my place..alas..twins so careless!?!?to b true i felt happy.dont know y but i turned to b a saddist @that moment.me n puneeth my co-intern forced them to trek up the fortified hill on that evening.as they started to ascend the hill their sorrow began to descend n on the hill top the beautiful sunset,ruins of the fort,birdview of the city n ourselves-al nearly antagonised their gloomy,melancholy cognitions..this soon waned off n the mobile thought encroached them.emotions ran high just like newly wed couples in ashada masa.v later went to lord saneswara temple n appealed him to help them find their mobile..they left us @ 11.30 in the nyt in pursuit of their mobile...n95

--STORY AARAMBAM--

intenship is akin to a year long sentence in jail werin u hardly get time for urself.this picture had creeped deep into me but soon realized not to be so wen i n puneeth amaresh wer posted to pavagada for 15 dAYS.v travelled by ksrtc for 5hrs via dabaspete-koratagere-madugiri-madaksira to reach this kannada administered but telgu influenced region.made our way to svirhc in the scorching sun.met dr.prashanth n then threw ourselves on to the bed hitting the sack early in the evening.to my bad luck i hardly slept failing to combat mosquito menace .the dry warm air kept my sweat glands running..

monday blues had preponed on saturday .the day was sedated.had a good nyt sleep.

climbed the hill behind the hospital on sunday dawn.explored new paths to ascend the boulder-shrubs trodden hill.felt giddy n so shelved the plan to reach top in the midway.freshened ourselves v went to watch sakti movie n had a platter of chiken.v made our day

svirhc-swami vivekananda integrated rural health centre estd 1992 by japanandaji since its inception has been serving the humanity in its vicinity.tb,leprosy,blindness,maternal n child nortality r the vital evils against which its been striving hard.it also undertakes phc in venkatapura,gudibande in andhra n a hospital on wheels.i worked their for 15days n learnt a lot wrt leprosy,ictc,tb n administration.was given charge of a medical officer of phc in andhra n discharged my duties efficiently in the context of my authority.visited skools in andhra n treated the sick children.went to naxal infected regions in pavagada n treated patients ovr their.celebrations of swami n puneeth bday .food prepared by our gur-goroo bhatta.injection addicted patients.overall i enjoyed this new avenue in my life.

v wit my cousins went on a picnic to lepakshi abt 65kms.built in mid 1500 by virupanna ,a feudal of achyutadevaraya,the deity there is veerabhadra swamy.agastya maharishi is said to have done penance here.the nagalinga-the bull-the sculptures al wer a treat to watch.v literally wer in mid1500,thrown 6centuries back by the time machine.the fineness of the sculpture stunned-dumbfolded me.

me n puneeth went on a stroll each nyt quarellin-pighting-chatting wit our frns on pone-it was then v kame to know abt ourselves better.v bonded well amidst differences in taste,personalities

also prashanth sr,nagaraj sr,anjanappa sr blended well wit us.they made our working environment better.

last nyt in pavagada-something in me kept popping up disturbing me.v had accomplished everything v had conceptualised to b done in pavagada except for climbing full the hill witch v had conquered half earlier.last day i started scaling it alone usin an alternate path witch i had zeroed upon ovr these 15days.@the end of 2hr i reached the top n screamed out loudly wit zeal n enthusiasm @ top of my voice to tell the whole world that my----------------------------- mission pavagada-accomplished!!!!

arhate-arogya tapasane n anganwadi

Back home after 10 hrs of outin-savourin the aroma of darjeeling tea i slipped into the sweet memories of the day which meanderingly embraced me.

after a squat regardin the mode of transportation v had 2 use to reach sondekoppa p.h.c-my boys finally zeroed in on bikes.me-rasna raghu-punneth finally reached the destiny where we had 2 report ,cruising on semi pukka roads for over 30kms.dr.srinivas [m.o. n owner of innova]who initially looked hostile later congenially assigned 9 anganwadis [anganwadi is a centre for preskool learnin n nutrition monitered by anganwadi workers].we reached hunnigere 3km from phc,wer v did the health assesment of the kids.n then headed 2wards another anganwadi n this cykle of ignitin n killin the ignition of our bikes continued for another 6 hrs.in these 6hrs my emotion quotient al of a sudden scaled new heights.

the very look of kids-avara innocent mukagalu namma kolatiruva manasugalu-avara a muddu nagu galu-tuntatta galu-kalmasha rahita manasugalu-toys thrown higgledy piggledy-peri oral area smeared wit dried food-saliva dribbling-moogu soring-fingering into nose removin dry nasal mucous-afraid of doktors fearin that they would give injections-chukkles n their giggles-cryin in chorus wen v approach them for examination n gettin consoled easily wen given choclates-little finger slowly unveiling amidst fist indicatin to empty the bladder-rhyming in unison-abiding after teachers awaaz-----------------------------.................

havin spent 6-7hrs wit them v regressed ourselves into these tiny tots leavin behind our pain n gain.we were rejuvenated.

returned home light hearted but wishin those golden days would return .

i envy those kids for my wish of havin that golden days back is a beautiful mirage...

swami saranam

swamiye ayyappo,ayyappo swamiye
swami tindaka tome tome-ayappa tindaka tome tome
deva ne devi ye,devi ye deva ne
ishwara ne ishwari ye,ishwari ye ishwara ne
irumudi kattu sabarimalaiki-sabarimalaki irumrdi kattu
swamiye saranam ayyappoo......

the above hymn began gaining in intensity,reverberatin as v approached the 18steps leadin into the lord ayyappa's devaswom.suddenly our adrenaline shot up several fold maskin our fatigue n wit god's grace we succesfully ascended the 70 deg inclined steps witout any hurdle.

I had watched this in kannada movie 'manikantana mahime' n each yr while watchin makara jyoti in tv ,my desire of goin to sabarimalai overwhelmed.this long nurtured prayer of mine was finally answered by manikanta on jan11 wen (me swamy,kalli[k] swamy,pagella[p] swamy,rasna[r] swamy,anand[a] swamy) 5 of us wore 'mala' in a temple in sajjan rao cirkl n transferred ourselves transiently from bein calld by nicknames to bein calld as swamis. v now had great responsibilities of maintainin the sanctity of 'mala' by gettin up befor sunrise,havin a cold watr bath twice-dawn n dusk,goin to temple n offerin pooja,walkin bare foot,abstainin from smokin-alkoaloo-n above all maintainin our "v".v kanya swamis tried our best.

jan12-irumudikattu was made by guru swamis which consistd of coconut filled wit ghee,rice,kunkuma arisina.we then set our theerta yatra in 'a' swamis zen car.'p'swamii acceleratd till krsnagiri for he succumbed to his anger which budded out of a quarrel b/w him n 'a' swami .latr i took control of wheels till dundigal.we then savoured bibibele bath [bbb],curd rice prepared by 'p'swamis amma-whose significance we latr realizd in the yatra wer v were devoid of good food.kuble aunty..

'a' swami latr covrd most of the distance inspite of quarrelli of grt intensity wit 'k' swami ovr wer to halt that night.but latr all 5 swamis came to consensus of travellin @ nt.kudos to 'p'swamy for effectivly managin the ghat sectn.by around 2 in the mornin we reachd sabarimalai n by god's grace got parkin space @1km from foothills.[durin sabarimala pilgrimage its difficult to get parkin space n have to park vehikls10-30km from foothills]toilets in sabarimala wer @ their usual worst. takin 3 holy dip in pampa rivr v loadin our respectiv irumudis on our head @ 6 ,headed uphill 8km-chikka pada-. initial 4km was apparantely free of crowd but last 4 km was the test of our patience-swami saranam

v wer locked in barricades as part of crowd control strategy durin which v met many kannada swamis most of them from badravati addin to 'k' n 'r' swami's pride.furthr ayyappa testd our temperment threshold wen the lane nxt to us nvr stood stagnant n our's nvr flowed.it was 24hrs since we last fed ourslvs.by ayyapas grace n palgun swamis amma's bbb[ate 24hrs back] n the very energetic cosmos of the holy place v could tide ovr the crisis.

7 in the evnin, 13hrs since v set off our ascent to sabarimala,wit irumudi on our head n havin lost the sensatn of it[bluntin of pressure receptors],v finally entrd the devaswom climbin the 18 sacred steps n our praisin of lord shied the thunder in skies.7.20 @@@last v finally had the darshan of 'manikanta'clad wit flowrs in the sanctam sanctorum lit only wit deepa's addin to the mesmerisin beauty n for that moment v forgot all our pains.

danyosmi swami navella danyosmi

as v came out of the temple i sighed out of contentment for my childhood dream of cmin on a yatra to sabarimalai was fulfilled by the swami.

v then finished the othr rituals of the yatra n had broke our apparent fastin[for v had eaten few grams]n climbed down the hill.1.30 in the night v came nr our car wer 'a' swamy was waitin for us.......'a' swami could not stand in the q for the fatso had lost stamina n took spl permission from the police n had the darshan n had come back to parkin lot by 8.he had only 100rs which he had spent on sandals.he was waitin there since 8.......the pitiful fact was that car was his,he had the mobile n money, but evrtin the car ky ,his mobile,his wallet was wit us.8-1.30 he had to wait in the cold nit.

as v approached the car 'a' swami stood in the way n i could sense some masculine adrenaline pumped reactn from him .intense"matina chakamaki"b/w 'p' n 'a' n 'k' swamis usin f*#$ word.'r' swami tried his best to pacify the situatn but notin could stop the saliva spurtin out of 'a' mouth just like lava from a volcano.i was a silnt spectator.bcoz of this turbulence in our relatnship 'a' swami slept in his car n v on a open air papr bed.

14 jan-nxt mornin wen evrtin had pacified n our emotions bein streamlined all the 5 swamis again bound togthr had the worst breakfast.it was anothr day i had aspired for--the makara jyothi[star] n makaravillaku[celestial light lit in the erumaley forest by the tribesmen]-- to watch this around 30 lakh devotees had thronged the sabarimala premesis.it can be watched eithr from the hill,or pampa,or pulimedu.v went to pampa rivr bank n @ 7.05p.m v saw the divine light.

it was of greaat solace to my soul

v then hurried to our parkin lot to go out of sabarimala @ the earliest,for to escape the traffic jam.but the police had blockd our way out.as v wer restin in our car in the parkin lot,v heard siren of an ambulance.latr the frequency of ambulance movin around increased.v thought of some minor incidents,injuries which r common wen peopl r in such huge nos.my fathr calld me then n told that some tragedy of high human mortality n morbidity has happnd wich he came across a news channel.v immediatly enquired the local police.stampede causin human loss of 100 n more had occured @ pulimedu.by ayyapas grace v had cancelled our plans of goin to pulimedu to watch makara jyothi the previous day.let all those who died,their souls rest in peace.

jan 15-v then left sabarimala @1 in the mornin n reached madurai @10 n headed 2wards avaniyapuram to watch 'jallikattu'.havin reached bengaluru @7 v got freshed up in 'p'swamis house n headed 2wards sajjan rao cirkle ayyapa temple from wer we had put our malas.the priest took off the malas n thus v successfully completed our yatra.swami saranam

this yatra fulfilled my childhood dream,blended all 5 swamis 2gethr,gave us an oppurtunity to realise how strong v wer[fastin,walkin barefoot in the forest,cold watr bath,standin in the q for 14hrs,n moreover made us mentally strong to face all atrocities in life.

i strongly recommend all my frns to @least go on a sabarimalai yatra once in life.

... swamiye saranam ayyappa ...

nanu obba doctor a???ahh ahhh ahhhh!!

i pruthvi raj.v, would like to make an humble confession.havin grown up listenin to my mother's wishes, very often, to make her son a doktor to serve the community

my father also had dreams of me becomin a good doc-but rarely revealed it

my sis also persuaded me to become a doc

i sowed the seed to bekom a vaidya-considered noblest profession on earth

toiled all 2ru puc-cet ,n n n n

day arrived wen the sowed seed sprouted n mushroomed into a plant-got into finest medical institutn

baskin in the glory of success i neglected the tough weather ahead-failed misreably to protect the plant-cheated myself,compromised my study time for non productive things,bekame a slave of laziness..

no pain no gain-but for me mbbs was a painless gain[passed each exams wit minimun effort n by divine intervention]

n now elkoloke nan obba mbbs padavidara?!?! Egu unte...

evn @ the end of my course, am as new to this, as i was, 4yrs back.enu kisililla..
the plant that once upon a time was bearin fruits exuberantly has suddenly lost its vigour -to evryones surprise..but this..this is the beginnin of my story for..
kattalinda belakige yatre saagide-have refuelled lost zeal,revitalised n assure u all that
i shall bekome that kind of tree-a kalpavruksha{coconut tree;every part from its root to jute is useful}which evryone had dreamt off me.

komon putta-ARISE,AWAKE N STOP NOT TILL U REACH THE GOAL..ALL POWER IS WITHIN U N U R THE ARCHITECT OF UR DESTINY.

inti nimma pritiya

-NAN AVAN ALLA-